A Year in the Valley

"GET ME OUT!", my heart cries. I totally believe I'm in this for a reason. I've grown a lot over the past year as a person. But, at the same time, I want to start climbing back up that mountain. Not, having a church home is undoubtedly tough without question. I think it's played with my mind a bit. I can't let the enemy in like that. I feel changes are coming. The obvious ones, I bought a new car, I'm moving in to my own apartment. But, those things don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

The struggle with not knowing your full potential and purpose in this life is weighing on me. The not knowing. The not knowing. How much longer Lord? I've laid my life down to you, I relay my life down to you. I want to know you more, I want to be a part of a church family again, I want to feel something real again.

I can buy a new car, I can get my own apartment, I can have meaningful friendships, I can go on fabulous vacations, but nothing, not one thing makes me happy then when I know in my heart that you are Lord of my life. Jesus, help me to, no matter what, always put you first in my life.

The inner struggle I have is...hard! God, no matter the circumstance I will always give you the praise and the honor you deserve. It seems the nights are the worst when you're all alone and all you have to think about is your life. Come morning his mercies are new and I feel rejuvenated!

ENUGGET: God is so much bigger than any struggle/problem we are dealing with. I might not "feel" his presence all the time, but his subtle reminders are always there to know that he IS right there.

My parents have a scripture up in the kitchen that I love. It says, "You scrutinize my path and my lying down and are INTIMATELY ACQUAINTED with all my ways." Psalm 139:3 (emphasis by me)

Isn't that beautiful to think about? That our God, our Father, is looking at each individuals lives and meeting them exactly where they're at. Because everyone struggles with different things. I just absolutely LOVE that about my Jesus! That he cares for ME!! And ALL my idiosyncrasies! lol Seriously though, just think about it!

Hope ya'll have an amazing week and are blessed! Most importantly remember to put God first in every aspect of your life. I think he deserves it don't you? I mean he gave up everything for us! What are you withholding?